So, when I fell in love with my girlfriend, she wasn’t exactly my physical type, but I was crazily in love with her. I have never loved any woman like I love her.
One of the mistakes I made was telling her, she felt bad. But I was smart enough to affirm my love for her strongly.
This reinforced her security in me — her newly found love.
I thank God I wasn’t blinded by my physical spec to not see how much I love her. She was under stress at the time, making her lose so much weight, and grow thin.
She came back to her usual slim thick nature, which was my physical type. Quite a funny one. Not everyone would get this luxury though.
Regardless of her shape and size, I love that woman to pieces. It’s not about her body. She’s the best for me.
Back to the issue, it appears you are in the shoes my girlfriend was, but your boyfriend or girlfriend didn’t say much than just that you are not their type
To give you clarity, it is possible that you are not everything your boyfriend or girlfriend wants, but they still love you with all of their heart.
Personally, you can’t get 100 percent of everything that you want in just one woman. There will be something that you don’t like. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, you just have to decide if it is a non-negotiable or deal breaker for you in a relationship.
And don’t expect perfection from a partner, and your partner should not expect perfection from you.
But the sincere truth is that if your boyfriend loves skinny girls while you are plus size, the honest truth is you will always be insecure about this.
Or if your girlfriend loves tall guys, while you are short, you might be somewhat insecure about this in the long run.
But you need to understand that you might not physically be your partner’s type, but they love you to the moon and back. Their physical specifications might be low in their priorities of choosing a partner.
That you are not their type does not mean they don’t love your body. I hope you understand. But you need to evaluate the situation to know what this is about.
In the end, how your partner treats you should matter in this kind of situation. Do they treat you well and love you with all of their heart? Or do they mistreat you because you are not their type?
What to do if Your Partner Says You are Not Their Type
There are a lot of things you can do if you seem to be in this situation.
- Evaluate the relationship
The first thing you need to do is check your relationship’s health. Is your partner loving you the way they should? Do they act like they are really in love with you?
Is your partner caring and loving? Do they always confess their love to you? Do you second guess their love for you?
You need to ask yourself these questions to know what to do. If you have to second guess their love for you, they probably don’t love you.
If someone loves you, they make it clear and open that they love you so much.
- Discuss this with your partner.
This will be a tough conversation for you to kickstart, but it is necessary if you don’t want to end up heartbroken in the long run.
Sit your partner down and ask them, “What do you mean by saying I am not your type? Do you intend to marry me? Cos I’m in this for the long run.”
Ask them serious questions about their love for you, commitment to the relationship, and plan for the long-term relationship.
They can give you all the sweet answers, but look out for their actions. Does their action show that they really love and care for you?
- Make your decision
After evaluating his or her answers and actions, the ball is now in your court to do what you want with what you have observed.
But here is my advice: prioritize yourself, your peace, and your sanity. You might need to get rid of a relationship that might head for the rock because your partner does not think you are one of the best things that happened to them.
You are worth being with someone who loves everything about you – your personality, body, mindset, and everything about you. Don’t waste your emotions on someone who does not give equal energy or at least close to it. Guard your heart and emotions.
I know it can be hard to leave a relationship, especially when you love your partner (if you decide to leave the relationship). However, know that you are saving yourself from unnecessary pressures and the possibility of heartbreak.
A relationship is not one-sided but mutual. It is not enough that you love them so much; they must also love you.
What If Your Partner Says It Doesn’t Mean They Don’t Love You
Match your partner’s words with his or her actions. Do they really act like they love you so much? If they act like that, tell your partner never to say to you that you are not their type.
You can get your partner a book that I wrote on communicating effectively in a relationship, so he knows how to communicate to you better
Tell them to enhance and speak about the things they love about you. If it is your hair, sweet soul, or personality they love, tell them to talk about that constantly.
Teach your partner to affirm you rather than saying words like “you are not my type” that can breed insecurity in a relationship.
Before You Go
I know hearing this from your partner can be worrying, but be calm. Everything is definitely going to be okay.