It can be hard and tiring to have a partner that overthinks everything. You love them, but you don’t love this about them.
There’s also the fact that you can’t just give up dating them because of the love you have for them.
And that’s why I’m here to help you with tips on how to handle your overthinker boyfriend or girlfriend:
How to Handle Your Overthinking Partner
These are tips I believe will greatly help your relationship:
1. Understand your partner
Once you realize that you have an overthinking partner, don’t panic. You must be able to see with their eyes. See things from their perspective.
You have to understand that they are not overthinking because they just want to. Yes, they can control it but it’s like an addiction that overtakes their actions.
This is most likely due to their trauma from past experiences. This could inform their anxiety, or even low self esteem.
An example, if your partner overthinks about you cheating on them, it might be that they have been cheated on before now.
Or it may be that they experienced their father or mother cheating, and it scarred them to believe anyone can do that.
Their overthinking is sponsored mostly from their trauma. Understand this, and let this inform how you react to them.
You must be ready to understand them, realize the reasons behind their overthinking nature, and walk them through how they can be free from it.
2. Be patient
Understanding your partner will come with a lot of patience.
This is because you are also a being with emotions. Emotions are involved because it’s about someone you love.
You will need a lot of patience because it will feel as though they don’t trust you at all. It would hurt especially if you are one who trusts them fully without any iota of doubt.
You will feel like bursting out in anger especially if they are accusing you of something you have not done in any way.
That won’t solve the situation. Try as much to always be calm in these situations.
I’m sure you already know how hard it is to do because you must have experienced it, which is why you are most likely here.
3. Reassure or validate their feelings
If there is one thing your overthinking boyfriend or girlfriend needs, it’s reassurance. They need a lot of it even if they don’t know.
Be ready to assure them always. And you can’t do that if you are not patient with them. It will be naturally tiring but be patient enough to reassure them and clear any doubt they may have.
After a lot of reassurance, they should get to trust you in those areas of insecurity. It will take a little while.
Don’t expect an instant result, especially when your partner is the lady in the relationship. Be patiently gentle with her.
Don’t worry. It won’t always have to be like that. I believe that they will improve over time. So, don’t get tired of it. Just have in mind how much you love them.
And when you are reassuring them, try as much as possible to be calm when doing it.
You can even buy them gifts that can serve as a form of reassurance for them every now and then.
Everytime they see the gifts, they will be reminded of how much you love them. You definitely need to check the gifts out.
4.Don’t give them room to overthink
Honestly, dealing with an overthinking partner is a lot to deal with. You will have to ensure you are not in situations that can cause them to overthink.
If he or she over thinks about you doing things with the opposite s3x, try to limit your interactions with the opposite s3x.
If you have to, don’t flaunt it on their face. Once again, try to reassure them! Reassure them. Don’t ever forget that in all you do.
This may seem like a lot. But if you love them so much, you must be ready to do this and more. Loving someone is an action word. It’s cowardly to dump a relationship at the slightest inconvenience.
With that kind of attitude you won’t have a long-term romantic relationship.
5. Communicate to your partner about this
It’s not enough to deal with this on your own. You must be able to talk it out with your partner.
Communicate to your partner about them overthinking. You must be careful when you are doing this, so they don’t take it wrongly in any way.
Ask them if there is anything in their past making them think the way they are. Ask intelligent questions that can make them open up.
They may not open up immediately. Try to press a little further.
If they sound like they don’t want to open up, ask them if they find it uncomfortable to discuss it. If they find it uncomfortable, give them the grace and allow them to be for the meantime.
Allow them space, they will surely come around to talk about it sooner than you think. It is not your fault they faced those issues that gave them traumas.
Also, communicate gently to them how their overthinking habits affect you and the relationship. Let them know the possible impact it can have on your relationship.
Suggest to your partner that you both speak to a relationship counselor over the matter. This will help your relationship a lot.
6. If you can’t bear it, you might have to leave the relationship
If after all these things, it doesn’t get better after a long while, and you don’t think you can bear it, you might have to say goodbye to the relationship.
This should be the very last resort after you have tried all you can.
I must also let you know that most ladies have a level of “overthinking” attitude. I’m saying this so you don’t leave this relationship and expect it to be way different in the next.
Choose your poison, and stick with it. I wish you the best in your relationship.