Lorraine, a friend confided in me that she’s been paying for everything for months since her boyfriend, Jay lost his job.
It’s been greatly cutting into her finances. She was slowly getting to her wits end as she barely had enough money left for herself.
However, Jay wasn’t relaxed as he was constantly looking for a job and he’d even found some little gigs as a handyman, but the income from those was very low.
Brianne is another lady in the same situation as Lorraine, but she has a deadbeat boyfriend, who we’ll just call Kay.
Kay spends all the money he earns on drugs, games and at the casino; and he isn’t making any active efforts to support Brianne in any way.
Now, both of these women are in a dilemma and they don’t know what to do because even though they love these men, they’re experiencing huge financial strains.
You have a broke boyfriend, just like these women, and you are getting tired of the situation? Walk with me as we see the things you could do.
Evaluate Your Boyfriend
Have a deep think on how your relationship has been. Has he always been this? Is your boyfriend like Jay or like Kay?
Does he have poor money management skills? Is he willing to listen to or take financial advice?
Did he just dump all financial burdens he had on you from the beginning of the relationship? Does he take the love you have for him for granted?
When Lorraine sat to evaluate her own relationship, she realized the willingness Jay had to help at every instant. He always suggested cheaper options, showered her with his love, attention and care.
He was a great communicator and never stopped making her laugh. He never got upset when she took out some frustrations she had on him and overall, he made her happy.
On the other hand, Kay just sat in his house and ate all the food she brought him, never leaving his gaming console except he had to do a number two or when he wanted to blow money on drugs or on lottery tickets that never clicked.
He always yelled at her and invalidated her feelings, and when she sat to evaluate her relationship, she realized that he mistreated her and constantly made her feel miserable.
Once you’ve evaluated your boyfriend, and you’ve discovered where he stands, do this next step.
Talk to him
Both Lorraine and Brianne sat down their respective partners and talked to them about how their finances were depleting fast and how they needed support.
You should do this too. Explain to him how the strain in your pockets has affected our life and how you’d need more help from him.
It’s also important for you to know that how you address the issue is very important. Every human has an ego, but you see men? When it comes to money, they can be very sensitive.
Handle the conversation gently. Speak like a lady. Let them know the situation you are in. If your partner is helpful even though they don’t have money, let them know you see their efforts.
In a case where your partner is nonchalant, you’d have to let them know you’re not okay with their attitude towards money.
Agree to cut down costs and set a compromise
If you’d been eating at restaurants constantly, agree to cut down costs and find cheaper options.
Buy more things you can afford for both of you, buy less luxury items for the mean time until you both are in a stable financial situation. Don’t spend above your pocket.
Set a compromise that you both would buy luxury items once a month or whenever you’ve saved up enough money to afford it.
Understand what the situation is
Is your boyfriend broke because of unforeseen circumstances? Did he lose his job or have his business crash just like Jay?
Is he trying to make ends meet one way or another? Or is he a lazy bone who is depending on you to foot every single bill?
Is he totally inconsiderate and just wants the finest things of life without having to work for it?
Ask yourself these questions in order to fully understand the situation you are in that relationship and how you can remedy it.
Support your broke boyfriend
If your partner’s financial situation is out of his control and he’s actively working to get out of it, hang in there. Be his support, compliment him and encourage him. Bring out the best in each other.
Endless nagging isn’t going to take you both anywhere. Instead, it’ll cause rifts that can be easily avoided. Nobody wants a nagging partner who’s never satisfied.
If he’s working on a project, be his loudest supporter. Be his hype man. This will push him to do more if he really loves you.
If he is applying for a job, gas him up. Look through those job openings together with him. Support him all through. Nothing fuels up a man like this. He’d get on his feet and make things work with time.
One thing you can do for him is to gift and then just let him know that you see all his efforts.
You can check out customized gifts you can get for your boyfriend here. He will definitely love them.
Dump him
Yes, dump him if he’s a deadbeat and lazy individual who isn’t interested in improving his own financial situation.
Leave if he’s contented with his present financial situation and you can’t bear the thought of struggling in poverty for the remainder of your life.
Leave him if he spends all his money gambling, on drugs, games, women or other things that are grossly unnecessary.
Leave him if he constantly lies to you about the reasons why he’s in his current financial predicament. You shouldn’t stick with a partner you can’t trust.
Leave him if he spends all the money he earns on other women. He doesn’t love you anymore. You can’t change him! Leave for your health and peace of mind.
Don’t let him leech off you just because you love him. If you love him, let him loose and get his life together. He can come to you after that.
A man needs to get his acts right and be actively pursuing his goals. Let him get all of that right. So, dump him.
Ultimately, if he isn’t willing to improve his financial situation and you don’t see yourself being comfortable in poverty, then you should terminate the relationship.
But if he’s genuinely trying, give him some time, support him, encourage him and work together. In due time, it’ll pay off.
As for Lorraine and Brianne, I’ll leave you to figure out what decisions they took on your own (wink, wink).